Saudade

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a unique Galician-Portuguese word that has no immediate translation in English. Saudade describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. It often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return. It’s related to the feelings of longing, yearning.

That is what I feel about my dear Hubby, Billy Lawson, the one I loved the most who left me forever to be home with God on Wednesday early morning, in April 25, 2012. It’s been 108 days already he left me, away from me. I didn’t know that he will leave me that soon. I still need him in everyway. He was my everything, my support, my love and my saviour. We been through our marriage for 1 year 7 months. We had our beautiful moment together. It was really short for me, but my dear Hubby gave me everything.

And now, everyday I still cry remembering the good times we shared together, remembering the laughter we shared, remembering every single things we did together. Everything that I see now looks gloomy. No more beauty in my eyes. Only bitternes. I still can laugh with people, I act normal in front of people but actually I am broken inside. I feel like want to bang my head on the wall 🙁
I cannot write anymore, my eyes wet withbtears, I cannot see 🙁 I love and miss you Baby! See you in my dream tonight! XOXOXO